Terimakasih Ibu, You are My Everything ..
Now I know, and Maybe it's long time ago I know but I didn't realize it clearly, why should I do that, and How I do that, even in that time my heart is not reach that feel.
Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that a person came to the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and asked: “Who among people is the most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He then asked, “Who next?” The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He asked again: “Who next?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Your father.” [Sahih Bukhari]
I do Know, Mother has a great Love for their children, even more than one but she can love them with the same priority. she knows what's wrong with her children, our need and what we feel.
there'a a lot of things come to my mind, a big problem, and maybe it's just stand around my head for three to five month but my mother can take it away in seconds. problems in my past really distrurb me, and I tell it to her, she help me out and I feel better.
when she listen to me, I can feel how she loves me, maybe in the past she is really busy and also I can't express my self seriously but I really happy when I try to be myself and she appreciates it.
even, I know how I really childish and dependent to them too much, actually I can do it myself but more and more I feel afraid to take one step. when I want to buy my utilities, I feel happy she gives her time, energy and even her money for me.
I know there is a lot things that I must did myself. I cant be childsh anymore, I wanna be independent and not dependent to anyone except Allah. when I try to do that, something else come to my mind and makes me afraid but I just want to take it away from myself.
when my mother help me to choose bags, clothers and other equipments, I ask myself, Can I get back her love, her money, her time in the future? coz maybe, I can go far away from them to get my dreams comes true, but what ever is that, i just wanna be the best for her, give her more than this, And I Hope Allah grant me.
I even doubt with my self, how I just have no any value in myself, I just like an handful of soil that learn how to walk, learn from mistakes, learn and Just think for the thing that I dont know what is that for. however, I wanna be someone best, I want to do more than anyone, do my best in everything i do, try very hard everyday in mylife.
Thank you Mom... I love you previously, now and forever ..